IAAB back once again - with news!

Another significant period of time has past since we last wrote. Apologies to our thousands of fans who have been left out to dry during this baron period.

There is a reason for this. Number 9 got engaged, and as a result has been tied up with other less important things for a few weeks. I have no excuses however, apart from the fact I don't have a reasonable internet connection.

To compensate for this I have been round the premier league grounds receiving congratulatory messages for number 9 following his good news.

We start at Wigan, where I met Mido in the JJB car park.

"Hey, great news on your engagement. Unlucky for Spurs that I am playing well at the moment. Should never of let me go."

Thanks Mido. From the JJB I went to Newcastle to meet Shearer. Little did I know that while Charles N'Zogbia had climbed into the boot of my Hyunda Getz and jumped out at the crucial moment hollering abuse at Shearer. Following this the Newcastle manager refused to comment on our good news.

So onwards to the Reebok. I was meeting Matt Taylor but as a bonus the gaffer, Gary Meggy Megson joined him.

Taylor - "Congrats mate, I knew you two would get married, wish it was me"

Megson - "This promises to be a fine event; I will start preparing a reading for the ceremony right away"

Megson also recommended a good vicar to conduct the ceremony. I was to meet him in Liverpool near Anfield and all I knew was his name was 'Sam'. I waited for what seemed an age before a builders van with ladders on the roof pulled up beside me. Unbelievably Sammy Lee got out. He apologised for being late, apparently he had been at Rafa's this morning doing some electrical wiring which had been a bigger job than he’d expected. It turns out he was the vicar Meggy had recommended. He said “oh yeah, I married half the Bolton squad and more recently Kuyt. I’ll do your ceremony, £30.00 all in.

Great, with the sorted we only had time for one more visit. I went South and to the home of, you guessed it, Uncle Roy.

Walking into Roy’s home was like taking a trip back to the sixties. Beige wallpaper, thick carpets and the smell of pensioners were what stood out for me. Roy was settling down in his favourite to an afternoon pipe but gave us these kind words.

“Marriage, I’ll tell you about marriage – It was 1962 and I was out shopping Gerry Francis. It was a Friday and we were off out on the pull, like any other Friday. I bought these grey cords, but my trick was always to buy a size too small. That way the ladies always have something to look at. Anyway, we got down ‘bar Copacabana’ early doors as we knew there would be fierce competition out that night. I had three pints of ale, Bass if I recall and Gerry and I were on the dance floor jiving away. Then rip. I burst my trousers. Couldn’t believe it. Gerry had the last laugh on that occasion. He had chosen to wear his trusty grey suit that he still wears to this day on Sky Sports News. It served him well, put it this way, he scored in more way than one that weekend!

Thanks Roy. Congratulations Number 9