Another Dimension

Some players can only be described as one dimensional. Take Rory Delap for example. He takes throw-ins. He’s really good at throw-ins. He’s not very good at anything else. Other one dimensional players include: Matt Taylor – Just scores screamers, John Obi Mikel – Just fouls people, Joey Barton - Just a thug, and Andy Reid - Just fat.

All of these players are insignificant when you compare them to the ultimate dimension bending footballer. The one, and only, Rio Gavin Ferdinand. First off he is captain of the current English, European and World club champions Manchester United. He is a fantastic defender but he has other traits on the football field that make him a complete player. His ability to play as an attacking midfielder – just because he wants to – makes him a threat. His ability to rocket in volleys makes him a threat. He is everything Anton isn’t. He is a great footballer.

It’s not only his exploits on the football field that have taken the lad from Peckham to the dizzy heights of international stardom.

He owns and manages a record label, White Chalk Music along with a childhood friend. Melody Johnston and Nia Jai are currently signed to the label with Ferdinand himself rapping on the latter’s debut album.

Ferdinand also has his fingers in the sweet bramley apple pie of the film industry where he recently financed Alex de Rakoff’s film Dead Man Running. The gangster film features seminal British gangster actor and narrator Danny Dyer and rap superstar 50 Cent. Rio is an executive producer of the project and shares production credits with the international W****R that is Ashley Cole.

Despite his impressive ventures into music and film, television is where Rio really shines outside of the footballing world.

On Saturday 10th June 2006, football fans across the world were tuned in to watch the opening games of the World Cup, including England v Paraguay. England went on to win the game 1 v 0 but that wasn’t to be the last appearance Rio would make on TV that day.

Hosting Rio Ferdinand’s World Cup Wind-Ups, the England defender purported himself in an Ashton Kutcher, Punk’d style, playing tricks on some of his fellow England squad members including Wayne Rooney, David Beckham and Gary Neville. Particular hilarity can be found in the skit where Wayne Rooney or "Wazza" as he is known is framed for the death of a small boy’s pet dog. In place of Kutcher’s “you’ve been Punk’d”, Rio implemented a phrase that will forever be used by fans of his work; “unlucky son, you got Merk’d”.

For all these reasons and more – RIO IS A LEGEND.

Rio Links:
http://www.manutd.com/default.sps?pagegid=%7bFE60904B-C2A8-4E60-9B05-700DBBC29BBC%7d&section=playerProfile&teamid=458&bioid=91957
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rio_Ferdinand
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=59096822


You can see some of Rio Ferdinand’s World Cup Wind-Ups here:

Hallelujah for Mark Viduka, Rory Delap, Chris Kamara and Jimmy Bullard

Some people may have already seen this but there is a fantastic take on Hallelujah doing the rounds at the minute which has been written and performed by the guy who finished 2nd in Fame Academy in 2003. I neither know, nor care about, his name.

All that needs to be known is that it's about Mark Viduka and it's amazing. You can listen to it here:



We have also created some versions that "loosely" fit the tune.


Rory Delap

Stoke City arrive in town
Pulis wears his cap as a crown
And he will reign on strongly rule Britannia

There is no hope, they're doomed to fail
But Tony’s got the holy grail
Defences wield to the might of Rory Delap

Rory Delap, Rory Delap
Rory Delap, Rory Delap

The premier league, where they belong
All the plaudits, all the gongs
Ricardo Fuller’s earring sparkles brightly

In spite of the critics he rose to the top
Despite the claims his team would flop
The missile throw of his boy Rory Delap

Rory Delap, Rory Delap
Rory Delap, Rory Delap

Dave Kitson demands a first team role
But come on ginge, you can’t buy a goal
The crowd cheers loud when Tony decides to hook ya

The clock ticks down, Bolton are one up
We a need a throw-in to the lift the FA cup
Megson's heart sinks at the sight of Rory Delap

Rory Delap, Rory Delap
Rory Delap, Rory Delap


Soccer Saturday 23 September 2008

It’s Saturday, it’s 3pm
Soccer Saturday is on again
Stelling and the lads prepare to banter

Ten minutes gone and a goal goes in
But what’s the score and who will win?
Over now to their man Chris Kamara

Chris Kamara, Chris Kamara
Chris Kamara, Chris Kamara

Has the ref made a blunder?
Kammy’s reporting lets us wonder
It’s a goal, but it’s not a goal

What has happened, what could it be?
A goal from nothing by Jimmy Kebe
“Unbelievable” says the defiant Chris Kamara

Chris Kamara, Chris Kamara
Chris Kamara, Chris Kamara

Back to the panel and Stelling jests
Kammy’s summary is not the best
Back to Chris for a second explanation

Kebe’s goal just wasn’t right
Scored by Noel Hunt who is short and white
Confusion from the genius Chris Kamara

Chris Kamara, Chris Kamara
Chris Kamara, Chris Kamara


Jimmy Bullard

Craven Cottage shouts his name
He takes to the pitch, his hair aflame
Watch out Bowyer, our boy’s about to do ya

The whistle sounds, the game starts
The Fulham roar is bursting with heart
Epitomised by the much loved Jimmy Bullard

Jimmy Bullard, Jimmy Bullard
Jimmy Bullard, Jimmy Bullard

The tackles fly, there’s chances galore
Dyers dives, he hits the floor
Roy Hodgson shakes his head in disillusion

The board is up, 3 minutes to play
Free kick awarded, let us all pray
The spotlight shines on the saviour Jimmy Bullard

Jimmy Bullard, Jimmy Bullard
Jimmy Bullard, Jimmy Bullard

He sets himself, a bag of nerves
He’s come along way since West Ham reserves
Danny Murphy gives an inspiring nod of approval

He strikes the ball as sweet as a nut
Like Tiger Woods holing a winning putt
The stadium announcer cries hail Jimmy Bullard

Jimmy Bullard, Jimmy Bullard
Jimmy Bullard, Jimmy Bullard



Merry Christmas