Nicklas Bendtner's Diary - Tuesday

Just back from training. It was a total joke. I was banging in the goals during the session, while RVP and the rest of them were missing left, right and centre. I was a little late because I was ironing my G-Star Elwood jeans. I've always been at the forefront of style and it's important to me to look good when I turn up. I wore my pink boots today too. I wanted to impress the boss. I'm so angry though because it looks like I'm not starting tonight. Arsene said it's 50-50 at the moment. I should be first on the teamsheet for every game.

I went round to Arsene's office after training to have a word. I told him how I felt. He brought in Cesc for his opinion. I don't even know why he's here just now - he's supposed to be injured. He said that I have a bad attitude and that most of the lads don't like me. I called him a jumped up little knob (which he is), but Arsene told me to go home and get myself together for tonight. I'm going to call my agent and try to engineer a move to Real or Barca. I'm sure they're both desperate to sign me. After all who wouldn't want the best player in the world?

Right, I best be off. I'm pretty sure Arsene will see sense and put me in the team tonight. I only have a few hours to get myself ready before we leave for West Brom. I'm going to look out my orange boots. They're beauties.

Peace out. N.